O damn, i wouldnt even be able to imagine having something like that happen..

thats really gotta suck..

there is no way i want to accept them..people fuckin suck..lol

hes in for arson, him and his cousin burned down a building or well his cousin did and blamed it all on him and snitched like a bitch..so he got 5 years for that and his cuz will prolly only get probation :

a fake knee, o geeze, your a lil to young for that.. and hip pain too..
yea your to young for that shit..
well i hope your knee gets better..

they believed you
now thats just pure luck..

haha, that starbucks, thats just to damn funny..
You fucked them out of $40 thats fantastic, lol
how pissed was the guy at you?

yea, i do have that, it really does piss them off, people use to get to me, so itd make it worth it for them i guess. but know i dont give a shit, cuz after what ive been through i just cant.

i try and do my homework, i usually copy or finish it right before class..
idk, school just isnt my thing, i cant handle being told what to do. and let alone all the cunts i go to school with. and the fact that my school has so many fights (we have the gheto kids..lol)

He does know your helping me out. he appreciates that your doing that for me, cuz well since he cant to do much, only through letters lately and that takes at least a week to get back to me. hes just glad im talking to someone, cuz i refuse to talk to my counselor anymore..hes just glad im talking to someone about it, and that there advice is actually helping me out..

O yea how cold?
cuz its getting cold up here in wisconsin to. lol

how is your knee starting to go out. what happend?

you really didnt go all week and no one noticced?!?!
what, how?!

haha, you do that at drivethroughs, thats great..

I dont really care what they say about me its the fact that its so often.. idk, i kinda look at it as "they're making me famous" lol
They just cant handle the fact that im not huge cunts like them..lol

yea, graduating is what i need to keep my mind on, but i dont do the work..so whos now...its goofy..im basically proving to myself that no one can force me to do something i dont want to, so i dont do my homework or what im told. which isnt to good at work..lol

no, i actually cant think of anyone to do that with..

Yes of course. ive written him, i write him a bit each day. and he gets these long ass letters from me and he just loves it.. & i finally got to talk to him tonight, so im in a really good mood..

thanks..

and i like that signature too
but i like the other one better..it just has a ring to it ya know..

so anything new with you?

Yea i know i should do that. but i cant. its to hard for me to show emotions, and when i do, its insane basically.
People just cant handle me when i get to that point, i mean they try..

Writing it out doesnt seem to work for me.
Ive tried it once before and idk, it kinda made me feel worse.
Maybe; im just to damn stubborn i guess.
its bogus, im letting it effect me in school.
I basically refuse to do my school work because im being told to
I have issues..lol

What goes through your mind, knowing youll be gone for a year?

haha

"Your Psycho Psyciotrist"
Now ^that^ is just great

But what i have learned from my parents (mainly my dad) is to keep everything to myself, that way i know there are no chances of me ever getting hurt.

over there for a year
o wow.
well that will be one interseting plane ride for sure
when is your b-day then?

How did your training go?

Well my appetite has gotton better. ive only lost about 2 more lbs..
yea, the rape thing, i just cant seem to get pass it..i woke up one night crying because i had a dream and in that dream i kept replaying it..
have you really seen someone set something like that up?
thats horrible i cant even imagine somone doing that
but o shit, i think your right about that
cuz the weekend before that happend, me and my ex-friends were out drinking and they convined that douchebag to buy us alcohol, and then after the whole rape thing, i heard them saying they dont have to pay him that money back cuz he had sex with me :

yea, i hope i can push through it. but lately everyone thinks im "depressed"
which i dont think i am, im just upset about a few things, ya know?

But i only really have a few people who are there for me now. i cant even trust half my family with my issues, and my parents i cant talk to them about this stuff. its just kinda imbarrasing..

my counselor wants me to see a physciatrist, which i dont want to do at all..
i just hate opening up to people, who are getting paid to do it,
id rather have someone who genuinly wants to help me and hwo isnt getting paid for it.

Hmm, other then that thers nothing to new
what about you?

you know your quite the nice guy..

ok, well to start
when i was 15 i was raped; by some 19 yearold asshole; and i still dont know how to deal with it; i breakdown crying cuz of it sometimes; and i have nightmares about it still; and it happend back in january; i just dont  know how to get over it.
my boyfriend did get 5 years in prison. which you already know; im dying without him; he was my bestfriend and helped me deal with absolutely everything and without him i keep all my emotions bottled up
i have lost about 25 lbs in the last two months, i pass out a lot; i dont eat; im stressed beyond belief.. i get lightheaded everytime i stand...
o and my parents dont trust me to leave the fucking house, so im stuck here all day, besides going to school and work,
my two ex bestfriends are fucking cunts
and took the guys side who raped me...
so now i have to deal with all the shit they say and the rumors that are spread about me, which are quite a lot for some reason...
i cant trust anyone really. not even half of my family,
and i dont really have anyone to talk to..because half the people i know will tell everyone absolutely everything i tell them. and i cant deal with that..
im so edgy and emotional too. im dealing with so much and i dont think any 16 year old should ever have to deal with anything like this..

and well theres most of it..

so you said its best to hear from someone whos been there//
what exactly do you mean by that?

thankyou
but
yea; you have no idea; i need so much help//its not even funny;

yea, he told me that whatever i chose to do, he would understand.. all this sucks though cuz he was my best male friend to before we started dating..
and i do like your advice, you are quite good at giving it
thanks..